Mower Madness

          This story is going to be a short one. It is about one of the times my father gave me the simple job of mowing the lawn. He pointed at a section of our yard and told my to stay away from it because it was muddy. After starting the mower he left me alone and went to go help my brother with his homework. I than put the mower into drive and took off. In less than a minute I got myself stuck in the mud. In an effort to get myself out I put the mower into reverse, but I only ended up digging myself deeper into the mud.
          At this time my dad was walking into the dinning room carrying my brothers papers. He looked out the window and saw me going back and forth in the mower while shooting mud everywhere. In anger he threw the papers on the floor and headed for the door. While sitting on the mower trying to roll it out of the hole I had made, I heard my dad's voice behind me. "YOU MORON!" he yelled at me while hanging out the door. He walked up to me and told me to drive forward while he pushed from behind. I was soon out and he left me to continue the job. I couldn't stop laughing about him yelling at me. I just thought it was hilarious how mad he got.
          Later that night we went to a party and while there my dad thought a good topic of discussion would be my mowing. "Only my son" he started "I specifically told him to stay out of the mud. Yet, sure enough I look out the window and see the tracks of the mower going straight into spot I told him to stay away from".

Clawed

          This story took place back when I was hoping to become a veterinarian. In an effort to do work with animals, I offered to do petsitting for people. So if a family wanted to go off on vacation I would be around to feed and walk their animals. I was frequently be asked to petsit my mother's friend's cat. Her and her family would go on yearly trips that would last for a week, so they would ask me to petsit their cat Mark. Mark looks the same as the cat from the movie "Shriek"and is kept indoors. Because Mark is kept indoors he is extremely energetic and his claws are sharpened to perfection. He may as well have hooks coming out of his paws.
          On one particular day when I was going to their house to feed and play with Mark, I was in a bit of a rush because I wanted to pick up a book I had ordered from Boarders. So after feeding and playing with him I decided it was time to leave. As usual Mark ran for the door and tried to block my exit. The poor guy never liked me leaving him. So I used one hand to gently push him out of the way and the other to open the door. But when I went to touch him he immediately latched onto my arm.
          His claws hooked into my skin. With me firmly in his grasp he lifted up his hind legs and started kicking up with his back claws in an effort to scratch me. I couldn't pull my arm away because his claws were buried into my skin and I didn't want to hurt him. I am very selfless when it comes to animals and will almost always put the needs of the animal before mine, even if it means putting myself in harms way. So I let my arm go limp in his grasp. During all of this I had been slowly opening the door so that I could quickly get out.
          He eventually loosened his grip enough to allow me to quickly pull my arm back. I than immediately shut the door behind me. I was out and Mark was safely inside. But my arm had been flayed, I had blood dripping from numerous scratches. There was no way I could get into my car the way I was. I decided that I had to get back into the house to clean my arm off. So I opened the door and walked back inside. As expected Mark was thrilled I had returned.
          I went straight for the kitchen sink to wash my arm. After cleaning it I wrapped a few paper towels around my arm. The bleeding hadn't stopped, but the towels helped to keep it from getting anywhere. I than walked back to the front door where Mark was waiting. Instead of using may hand I used my foot to gently push him aside. As expected he attacked, but he only ended up damaging my shoe. I was soon free without sustaining anymore injuries. I than got into my car and drove off to Boarders.
          I walked inside the store with the blood soaked paper towels around my arm. A few people were staring at me as I walked by. I grabbed my book and went up to the register to pay. The cashier just stared at my arm. I can only imagine what he thought had happened to me. "I got scratched by a cat" I tried to explain. "Yea, I understand" he said. There was no way he believed my explanation. After paying for the book, I walked out and went home to properly patch up my arm.

Pulled Over Part 2

          After getting out of the vehicle, the officer asked me to walk to the back of the car so we could talk. He than asked me for my name. "Chris" I responded. "Do you have any illegal weapons on you Chris" he asked. WHAT! I thought to myself, is this guy serious. I was wearing a T-shirt and jeans, where was I going to hide a weapon. But I just responded with a simple "no". He than asked me to stand on the curb with Dave. The officer than told us to stay where we were while he searched Dave's car.
          While the cop went to look in Dave's car I started questioning Dave. "Dave" I asked "What's going?" "I don't know" he responded. "Why is he searching your car?" I asked. "I don't know" he answered. "You don't have anything on you do you?" I asked. "Chris" he said sternly "If you do not shut up I am going to murder you". So we both stood quietly and watched as the cop tore through Dave's car.
          After making a mess of things by flipping the seats and throwing papers around, he was convinced that we didn't have anything on us. He than walked up to us and wished us a good day. Not knowing what else to do we wished him a good day back and started fixing up the inside of the car. We than got in and drove off.
          I asked Dave what we did to get us pulled over in the first place. It turns out we were pulled over because a frame on Dave's license plate was covering up too much information. But we each had our own theories for why we were searched. I think it's because he had that bat of his in the back seat and the cop figured we were up to no good. Dave on the other hand thinks that we were searched because I questioned the cop about the reason we were pulled over. Either way, we were happy that everything turned out OK.

Pulled Over Part 1

          This story took place back when I was in high school. My friend Dave and I were headed back to my house after getting work done in a local town. I don't remember what we were doing, but it isn't relevant to the story, so it's OK. If I remember correctly, this was the first time Dave had the opportunity to drive me around my area considering he had just got his license. We were talking while on the way back to my house when Dave said "Chris, we're getting pulled over". "What?"I asked, as I looked up into the rearview mirror. Sure enough there was a cop with lights flashing right behind us.
          As Dave pulled over to the side I asked "You weren't speeding were you"? "No" he said, with the car finally stopped. As the officer got out of the car I remembered how these local cops had the habit of pulling people over for dumb reasons. With that in mind I was confident that this would be no big deal. The officer walked up to Dave's window, which was open. He asked for my friends license and registration. Before the officer or Dave could start talking, I decided to jump on in and say what was on my mind.
          "Excuse me officer" I asked "Why are you pulling my friend over?" The guy stood there not answering back. Not taking a hint I continued. "Is it because you think he's too young to drive?" I asked. I noticed that Dave's grip was tightening on the steering wheel and he had a stressed look on his face just staring out the front windshield. I imagine that he was pretending that the steering wheel was my throat and he was strangling me. So to keep my friend from getting arrested for murder I decided to keep quite.
          The officer than started questioning Dave. One of the questions he asked was about a bat that Dave was keeping in the back seat. Dave explained that the bat was kept for protection because he lived in a bad area.  After questioning Dave a bit further, he asked him to step out of the car. I assured Dave that everything was going to be OK. I watched in the mirror as the cop spoke to Dave, while pointing at something on the back of the vehicle. I figured that he was pointing at a bad light or something like that.
          As soon as he was done explaining what was wrong to Dave we would be free to go. Or so I thought. Next thing I know the cop has Dave with his hands on the car while patting him down. After seeing this I got a bit more concerned and tried to figure out what was going on. When the officer was done patting Dave he walked up to my side and asked me to step out of the vehicle. This story will be concluded in the next post.

My First Spanish Class and Test Part 2

          With my new found spark of hope I began writing on my paper. I wrote out each word in english and added an "O" or "A" at the end of it. So for colors my answers looked like this: Blueo, Purplea, Greeno, Yellowa. I than pulled the same stunt with the months and days. When it was over I had successfully filled in all the answers. However, I didn't believe for one second that I was right on any of them.
          I sat for a bit longer so I could work up the courage to hand in my test. I new she was going to look at what I had written and wanted to be gone when she did. As fast as I could I got up, swung my backpack over my shoulder, handed my test in, and was out the door before she had the chance to flip to the second page. I was so proud of myself for squeezing out of that tight situation that I had to tell somebody. So naturally I called my best friend Dave. After I told him what I had done he started cracking up.
          About a week later my test was returned to me and as expected I received an "F" for my grade. I took it home and showed it to Dave. He laughed even harder than when I had told him about it. "Oh my God!" he said to himself "he actually did it!" "I told you I did" I answered. "Yea" he replied "but I didn't think you were serious". We both ended up showing my brother and sister the test results. Now they had been taking spanish, so it was even that much funnier to them to see how horrible my answers were. I didn't take it personally at all. I thought it was just as funny as they did.
          Dave considered this to be undeniable evidence that there was no way I was going to pass the class. With this test being such a failure I actually made an effort to study hard. I even made the extra effort to get audio CD's on speaking spanish. But even with all the time and work that I put into learning it, I never got higher than a 50 on any of my tests in the class. When I went to my guidance counselor to see what grades I had gotten for the semester, I new what the outcome was going to be.
          She would start off reading the class and than tell me the grade I got. "and for your spanish class" she started. "Yea, I know, I failed" I thought to myself. "you received a B" she said. "What! Really?" I asked in shock. "Yes" she answered "it says that you got a B for your finale grade". "Can I take a look at it on your computer?" I asked, still not believing her. I walked to her side of the desk and sure enough saw a B next to my spanish class. I was absolutely thrilled at what I was seeing. I left her office with a big smile on my face.
          When I got to the parking lot I decided to call Dave and tell him the good news. But his response to what I told him was anything but congratulatory. "WHAT!" he exclaimed "How is that possible? You FAILED every test that was given to you. You don't deserve a C, let alone a B". He than started rambling on about some class he worked hard at and ended up getting a low grade. When he was done talking I jokingly said "Don't forget about the hundred bucks you owe me for passing the class". "YOU AREN'T GETTING A CENT OUT OF ME!" he nearly yelled. He than started saying how it was unfair that I had passed the class and that he wanted to call the school to have my teacher investigated. Of course we both knew he wasn't going to do that. When we were done talking I turned off my phone while laughing to myself.
          I never got the money from him for passing, but than I never expected to. I believe the reason I passed the class was because I was nice to the teacher. As the semester went on and kids became more frustrated, they started being nasty to her. Considering we were all doing bad, I think she was forced to choose who would pass and who would fail. After all, if everyone had failed it would have made her look bad. So I was given the privilege of being one of the students that passed.

My First Spanish Class and Test Part 1

          A couple years ago I was required to take a foreign language course at my last college for my degree. I wanted to take a course in Italian due to my heritage, but I picked Spanish because I felt it would serve a more useful purpose if I learned it. Now through out school I had been exempt from foreign language due to my learning disabilities, but now I didn't have a choice. I called my friend Dave to tell him about the course. He told me that my odds of passing were slim to none. But if I were to pass, he would give a certain amount of money. I believe he said either fifty or one-hundred dollars. Considering how much he was offering he must not have had much confidence in me.
          The first day of my spanish class was a mess. The teacher came walking into the room talking Spanish and not a word of English. Apparently I wasn't the only student shocked at this because others started voicing their complaints. Thankfully the teacher started speaking english at the end. When the class over I over heard some students saying how they were going to drop the class. As bad as I wanted to join them in their decision, I had to make it through the class to graduate.
          I struggled a great deal in classes ahead, but because the other students seemed to be on the same level I was, the teacher was much more patient. She did start speaking more english when she realized we were totally lost when she spoke spanish. Soon we had our first test. The day of the test I knew I wasn't going to do well, I just didn't know how bad it was going to be. I sat down at my desk and the teacher past out the test to everyone. The front part of the test had something to do with determining if a spanish word was masculine or feminine, while the second and last part of the test I had to write colors, months, and days in spanish.
          Now since there were only two possible answers for the first part I was able to guess my way through, but on the second part I was absolutely screwed. All it had on the pages were some blank lines to write out the words in spanish and instructions at the top. I just sat there staring at the page for a few minutes. I watched as some of the other students started handing in their tests. Before long I was the only person in the room with the teacher and still hadn't written one word.
          I considered handing the test in, but I have the belief that if you hand a test in blank without trying, it gives the teacher a negative impression of you. I always write something in, even if I'm not entirely sure what the answer is. But I didn't have a clue what I could possibly write. I had no knowledge in my mind that could even remotely give me an idea of what to put down. I looked up at this poor teacher who was forced to sit and wait because of me.
          I searched my brain for anything that could help me. When I was almost about to give in, a memory came to mind. I remembered a conversation between my younger brother and I. During our talk he had said one of his friends made the observation that most spanish words end in "O" or "A". I had found my ticket out of this mess. This story will be concluded in the next post.

Snowboard Beaten Part 2

          I sat down at the table and waited to hear what ridicules explanation they had for me. Dave started by telling me how he hurt his wrists. It turns out that he had just fallen down a lot during training, but because he was a big guy it put too much strain on his wrists when he went to catch himself. Bret on the other hand had a much more interesting story.
          Apparently after the two of them were taught some of the basic moves their instructor had taken them to the higher end of the hill and wanted to see if they could make it to the bottom. This is the part where Dave hurt himself from falling over too many times. He than waited at the bottom to see how Bret would do. Bret started off well and was able to keep his balance, but he had little control over what he was doing.
          As he started go faster he didn't notice another snowboarder that was coming at him from the side. When he was cut off Bret tried to stop himself by turning his board sideways and leaning back. Unfortunately, he was on a patch of ice when he tried it. So instead of having the board slow down it clipped the ice and he fell over face first. But because he was going so fast when this happened, Bret kept sliding on his face for a while until he came to a stop with his head buried in the snow. Dave watched as Bret pulled himself out of the snow with blood dripping. He was so cold that he couldn't feel anything on his face.
          The instructor immediately took Bret to get medical attention. After getting checked out, Bret was made to sign a form saying the instructor was not liable for his injury. Than they dragged themselves back to the lodge and gave me the call. I didn't know how to react to their story. It still blew my mind that they were able to get hurt this bad on the bunny hill. I asked them if they might want to trade their snowboards in for ski's and come back out with me. Dave decided that he was done for the day. Bret on the other hand took my offer and we went back out together. We decided to leave after a while because a snow storm was building and made it hard to see. But before we could leave I had to take Bret to the medic again because his face was starting to hurt. When we were done we met up with Dave and went back to our apartment room. We than ate dinner and went too sleep.
          When we woke up the next morning Bret's face looked even worse than before. It was puffed up and we thought for sure his nose was broken. We considered the idea of leaving but the storm from the other day was still raging and the area was in a state of emergency because of it. After calling our parents about what to do we decided it would be best too get ourselves back home for Bret's sake. We cleared our car of snow and slowly made our way back to New Jersey.
          Once we got back we dropped Bret off at his house and Dave and I went back to his house. We found out later that Bret's nose was not broken and his face was starting to heal up. So while the trip may not have been a success, it sure was memorable.

Snowboard Beaten Part 1

          This is another story that involves my friend Dave and I. But this time we had our friend Bret with us for this adventure. The three of us had decided that we wanted to take a weekend vacation in the Poconos for the Winter, but we had disagreements on what we wanted to do. I learned to ski at a young age so that is what I wanted to do. Our friend Bret knew how to ski, but decided that he wanted to give snowboarding a try. Dave had never been skiing or snow boarding, but eventually decided that he would try snowboarding because he used to skateboard and thought that would make it easier for him to catch on.
          Given my experience on the slopes I know how hard it is for people to control a snowboard. After considering the physical capabilities of my friends, I didn't think it would work out for them and urged them to get ski's with me. But it was no use, they had both made up their minds that they were going to snowboard. Personally I think they picked snowboarding because they thought it was the "cooler" thing to do. They than said that they planned to get snowboarding lessons so that they could learn faster.
          So the three of us went to the Poconos with our own agendas in mind. Once we arrived we got a room than headed off for the mountain. We had the plan that I would go ski on the mountain for about two hours while they got their snowboarding lessons on the bunny hill. Once they were done we would all meet up and go on the mountain together. I can still remember when we were about to separate and Dave said to me "Now Chris, don't go doing anything stupid and end up getting yourself hurt". I told him I would be fine and headed off.
          I than spent two hours having fun on my own. I even went on the free style terrain for my first time and went off a few jumps. I know I told Dave I wouldn't do anything dumb, but it seemed like so much fun, and it was. I eventually realized two hours had passed and checked my cell phone, but no one had called. I waited a little longer and than decided to call them myself, but no one picked up so I left a message. After a bit longer I called again and again no one answered. This process happened a third time and I stopped bothering to call. An hour passed by and I was getting pretty frustrated at them.
          Finally, while waiting for a ski lift my phone started ringing. I picked it up and heard Dave's voice on the other end of the line. "Where are you?" I demanded. "We're in the lodge" Dave answered. "Well get up here" I said "I've been waiting for you all day". "We can't" Dave started "We got ourselves hurt during training". I stayed silent for a second, not believing what I had just heard. "OK" I said "I'm headed to the lodge right now". On my way to the lodge I still couldn't figure out how this was possible. How is it that BOTH of them got hurt, during TRAINING, on the BUNNY HILL! I have to be honest, I thought the to of them were just overreacting to falling over a few times. So while I was slightly concerned, I was more annoyed.
          After getting to the bottom of the mountain and putting my ski's on the rack, I made my way into the lodge. I searched for a bit, but eventually found them. As soon as I saw them my frustration turned to confusion and pity. Dave was sitting at a table tending to his wrists which were black and blue. Bret, who was in far worse condition, looked like someone had smacked him in the face with a shovel. His face was bloody and bruised. I walked up to them and asked "What the hell happened to you guys?". I will conclude this story in the next post.

My First Car Crash Part 3

          Arriving back at my house I met up with my two friends and we all went inside to hang out. Dave told me how scary it was for him to watch me lose control and that he felt a sense of responsibility for what had happened because it was his idea to go on our drive. I assured him that he was in no way to blame for what had happened. My other friend than decided that it was now time to call her mother explain what had happened.
          That was something that I was not looking forward to and is why I think the crash was so hard for me. Bad enough that the car was damaged, but I could have gotten a friend of mine hurt. I thank God that nothing happened to her. I'm so glad that the tree ended up smacking into my side instead of hers. Eventually my friends decided that it was time for them to go. After saying their goodbyes and telling me how sorry they were, they went out the door and left me to deal with my parents.
          As weird as it may be to say, if it was not for the losses and emotional stress that I went through it would have been a fun ride. On a final note, I eventually met the girls mother at a school event. When I first walked up to her I stood back a few feet. I thought to myself "This lady is going to kill me!". She opened up her arms to give me a hug, but I was still a bit cautious. Finally, I approached and hugged her back. It was great knowing that there was no hard feelings between us.

My First Car Crash Part 2

          Seeing the smoke coming out of the front of the car I thought there was a fire. Fearing that my friend could get hurt I yelled at her to get out of the jeep. As she jumped out the door, I went to open up mine. But it wouldn't open because part of it had been damaged from the tree. So instead I jumped over my  side console and went out the door she did. Once I was out I took a few steps back and looked at the damage.
          I walked to the other side of my jeep to see the huge dent it had received after smacking the tree. The dent covered the back left passenger door and took up a bit of the driver side door. I than started walking towards the road while looking at the spinning tire marks that had been imprinted on the grass. I walked up to the tree on the side of the road and saw the bark had been torn off where my jeep had hit. I was also able to see the tracks on the gravel, which gave evidence of my struggle to stay on the road.
          Looking back at my jeep, which was no longer smoking, I started thinking how only a few seconds ago everything was fine. But now because of this accident my life was going to change. By this time Dave had gotten out of his vehicle and was making sure my friend and I were OK. While we stood there trying to comfort one another some lady came driving down the road and stopped her car. After looking at what had happened she started accusing us of being reckless. I was in no mood to deal with this lady and go about explaining what had happened. Thankfully Dave stepped in and asked her to leave.
          Our friend than took out her phone and called the police, while I called my family to tell them what had happened. Once we had made our calls I started taking a walk down the road to take some time to think. I thought of all the bad things that could possibly happen because of this. My thoughts ranged from getting ticketed for the accident to the loss of money that had been invested in the jeep. Feeling the fear and panic build inside me I screamed with frustration. I wanted to either be dead or as far away from the scene as possible. I than bent down and started hammering my fist into the gravel. My knuckles started to bleed from the rocks but my adrenaline was going so fast that I was beyond feeling any pain.
          Dave stepped up to stop me and took me back to his car. We all waited to see who would get here first. My parents were the first to arrive on the scene. After making sure that my friends and I were OK they took a look at my jeep. After checking it out my dad started laughing. I guess it was his way of letting me know he was not angry at me for what had happened and wanted to lighten the atmosphere. Next the police arrived along with an ambulance. I didn't understand what the ambulance was for since none of us were hurt.
          It turns out that they needed the equipment to make sure my friend and I weren't hurt. Because I had a clean record the officers were nice enough to not give me a ticket for the accident and probably felt that what I had been through was punishment enough. After everything was taken care of my jeep was towed away, Dave and my other friend drove back to my house, and I went back home with my parents. This story will be concluded in the next post.