Moving In Part 1

          This story took place a few days ago. My friend Dave and I were helping his girlfriend Meredith and her mother move into their new home. What was strange about this new house that they moved into was that the previous owners left everything they owned at the house. They even left their two cats, one of which has diabetes and needs to get a shot as treatment each day. Being the cat lover that I am, I wasn't to thrilled to see that they had abandoned their pets. I hope for their sake they never meet or speak to me because I will make them feel like the scum of the earth. There is no excuse for leaving their pets behind like that, especially when one has medical condition.
          Anyway, after moving in as much stuff as we could, we had to find a way to get the one cat inside so that we could give it it's shot. Since I was the cat lover of the group I was the one to go out and try to get them. I had managed to make friends with the one cat, but the other cat that we needed was too skittish. I tried different ways to get him into the house, but nothing worked. We saw that the cat was standing at the corner of the house by the front door.
          "That does it" I said "Dave you hold the front door open, I'm going around back and I'm going to shew him from behind and hopefully he'll run inside". Dave went to the front door and opened it up, while I went out the back door. I made my way around the house and saw the cat sitting there. The others were calling the cat at the front door. It was perfect, he had no idea I was there. But unbeknownst to us, an unwelcome guest was about to ruin everything. This story will be concluded in the next post.

Unarmed

          This story took place in Boston quite a few years back. My mom and I had been invited to a reunion at Boston's Children's Hospital due to my medical history there. So my mom, her friend, and I went up there to to see how everyone was doing. While we were there we talked with all the doctors and the occasional patient that we knew. The party happened to be outside and I was a little cold that day just wearing a T-shirt. To keep myself warm I stuck my arms on the inside of my shirt.
          "Chris" my mom said "Take your arms out of your shirt, people are staring". "No, I'm cold" I said. I thought my mom wanted me to take my arms out cause I looked immature, I didn't realize until later what was so wrong with what I was doing. It turns out that because we were at a hospital reunion, I looked like some kind of patient that had lost both of his arms. Of course this thought never registered in my brain. I just sat there next to my mom with my arms wrapped around myself inside my shirt.
          My mom's friend apparently didn't make the connection regarding my arms either. She sat next to us at our table after grabbing some food. After noticing me, she turned and jokingly said "Hey Chris, would you like me to feed you". She took something off her plate and moved it towards my mouth. Before I could bite down, she pulled it away. Again, she went to give the food to me, but than pulled away again. "Come on Chris" she laughed "You almost got it". The people around us stared mortified at what appeared to be some woman making fun of an armless kid. Even the people that my mom had been talking to were staring at us. Eventually, my moms friend let me eat whatever it was she was feeding me.
          "You want another Chris" she said. We started the whole process of cat and mouse again and disturbed even more people. When my moms friend stopped feeding me, she had no clue what she had done. It wasn't until later on that my mom explained to us both what we had done wrong. My moms friend and I started cracking up together.

EARTHQUAKE! Part 2

          We all stayed outside a little longer just incase there were any aftershocks. Eventually we decided that someone had to go back inside. We decided that we would grab what we needed out of the house and just spend our time outside until we got further news about what was going on. Since I was the only male adult available, I chosen to go back inside to see if it was safe. "OK Chris" my mom said "go ahead". I didn't mind, in my haste I had accidently left two valuables of mine in the house and I was eager to get back in the house to retrieve them.
          I slowly made my way up the stares. I have to be honest, the idea of dying from a house falling on me wasn't too appealing to me. "Chris" my mom said "If things start shaking, come running right back outside". "OK mom" I said. I stepped into the house and looked around. Once I felt ready I took off, I quickly made my way up the stairs to retrieve my two items. While I was busy at work upstairs, my mom and her friend had come into the house to collect their things.
          As my mom made her way up the stairs, she saw me come flying back down. Under my one arm was my laptop and under the other was my Xbox 360, along with a trail of cords behind me. "You are sick" my mom laughed as I ran passed. "Hey" I said "these are my most valuable items, I am not going to let them be destroyed when this house comes down". After locking my laptop and Xbox safely in my car, I ran back in to grab my clothes and other accessories.
          Once we got what we needed we all went back outside with our things. We tried making calls to other people people, but the phones were jammed. After we finally got some more information about what was going on, we decided that we would eat some lunch and than go home.
          While eating lunch I gave my friend Dave a call. He told me that he had been eating lunch in his car when the ground started shaking. I told him how the first thing I grabbed upon getting into the house was my Xbox 360 and laptop. "YOU ARE PATHETIC!" he yelled "YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC!" I started cracking up. "SHUT UP CHRIS, IT'S NOT FUNNY" he continued "IT IS JUST SAD AND PATHETIC! HOW IS IT THE FIRST THING YOU GRAB IS YOUR XBOX AND LAPTOP! YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE!". After he was done ranting, we talked a bit longer than hung up. In the end we all decided to leave the beach house and go home.

EARTHQUAKE! Part 1

          I'm going to share with you what happened with me when the earthquake that took place this summer hit NJ. I was at my parents beach house with my mom, her friend, her friends daughter, and her friends daughters friend. So I was on the top floor of the house eating my breakfast at the counter. I was talking to my mom's friend who was eating in the kitchen and my mom was in her room. Next thing I know, I feel the whole house swaying back and forth. I felt like I was in some kind of funhouse as we shook. When it stopped, I sat in my chair confused about what had happened.
          My mom's friend looked at me with a worried face and said "Chris, has that happened before". "No" I said. "What the hell was that?" I thought to myself quietly "Must have been a strong wind. But there's no way wind could shake an entire house. Maybe the structure of the house is weak and that's why the wind was able to move it. What moron would build a house so unstable that it could be moved by a gust of wind". As I pondered what had happened my mom came out of her room. "Did you guys feel that?" she asked. "Yea" we said. "Has this happened before?" my moms friend asked my mom. "No, never" my mom said. My moms friend headed for the stairs. "We need to get out of this house right now, I think we just had an earthquake" she said. "What, no way" I thought "we don't get earthquakes in NJ". The thought of an earthquake had never even entered my brain earlier. Still, I decided to follow the rest of them outside.
          When we got outside others were walking out of their house. "Hey" some guy that was across from us yelled "did your house just shake?" "Yea" we said. "Mine too" he responded. "Yea" my moms friend said "we just had an earthquake". "COOL!" I thought to myself "My first earthquake". This story will be concluded in the next post.

I Lost My Phone

          This story is a short one that took place while I was walking from some store to my car. I was on my cellphone talking to my friend Dave at the time. I approached my car, unlocked it and hopped on in. I continued talking with him as I started reaching into my pockets to take out everything that I needed. I had my keys and my wallet, but than I realized that something was missing. "Oh sh-t!" I said "Oh sh-t". Dave heard me over the phone. "What's wrong?" he asked. As I quickly started looking around my car I responded to him "My phone Dave, I lost my phone". "What?" he asked. "MY PHONE!" I yelled "Do you hear me, I lost my phone".
          I double checked all the pockets in my jeans. "Dude" Dave said "You're talking on your phone right now". There was a bit of a pause until I responded "Oh yeah". Dave started cracking up. "No way did that just happen" he said "There is no f-cking way". He continued his laughing. "Well what do you want from me?" I asked said "I have a procedure when I get into my car. I take out my wallet, my keys, and my phone. But this time, the phone wasn't in my pocket." "But you were talking on it" he laughed "How could you possibly forget that". "Well I managed to" I said. We finished up our conversation and than hung up.

Failed Barefoot Water Skiing Attempt

          This story took place last summer when my family and I were down Long Beach Island. We were out on our wave runners and getting pulled from behind while using a knee board. The way this would work is a person would take the knee board and jump into the water behind the waver runner. Than while sitting on top of the board, they would be dragged through the water by holding onto a rope. Well after taking my turn on the board, I told them I wanted to try barefoot skiing.
          "Chris" my brother said "This isn't going to work". "Sure it will" I said while swimming to the handle at he end of the rope. I grabbed the handle and faced forward. I got myself in a sitting position with my feet held out in front of me. "OK, here's the plan" I said "When I say go, I want you to hit the gas and I'll catch the water with my feet. Than I'll be able to rise my self up to the surface and hopefully be able to remain standing. "You're not going to be able to do it" my dad said. "Yes I will" I said "Now when I say go, you go OK". "OK" my dad said.
          I braced myself by leaning back, gripping the handle tight, and keeping my feet up. "OK GO!" I yelled. My dad gunned the engine and I was pulled with so much force that I ended up in the exact opposite position from where I started. I was dragged head first under the water, while my legs were pulled from the front position of my body to the back. I felt like a torpedo that had been shot underwater.  It was a cool sensation to be moving under the water so fast. I could feel myself cutting through the water and heard the roar of the waves passing by. I probably should have just let go of the rope, but I didn't. I must have been under the water for only six seconds, though it felt longer.
          The rope had stopped pulling and a surfaced. I saw my brother and dad laughing. "What great idea that was" he said sarcastically. "OK" I said "We're going to try this again, but this time I want you to start slower". "Your crazy" my dad said "We're not doing it again, get on the wave runner". "Why not I?" I asked. "Cause you're not going to be able to do it, now hop on and let's go" he said. "Fine" I said and swam over. I hopped on the waive runner and we drove off.

Chinese Food

          This story took place at a little chinese restraint by my house a few years ago. Dave and I had gone inside to get ourselves some lunch. I had my usual chicken lo mein and he had chicken and broccoli. After we finished we walked up to the front to pay for our food. The cashier gave us the price and we each took out our wallets. As we looked through our cash we heard a sound that caught our attention. It was the sound of someone hacking something up in their throat. We looked up to see the cook spit directly into a pot of something cooking on the stove. Ignoring what we saw, Dave and I paid for our meal and walked out the door.
          As we got into the car Dave said "That was disgusting, I've never scene anything like that before in my life". We than started questioning each other about how our food tasted. We wondered if the guy had spit into our food as well. We got out of the parking lot and started making our way towards home. As we talked I made the mistake of saying "It's no wonder my parents never take us there to eat". Dave hit the brakes and pulled over to the side of the road. I looked around and asked "What's wrong?". "Get out of the car Chris" Dave said. "Why? What did I do?" I asked. "Why would you take us to a place you knew your parents don't like?" he asked. "To try something new" I said.
          A smile came over my face when the realization of what he was asking hit me. "Wait a sec" I said "Are you suggesting that I took us there because I knew the guy would spit in our food". I started laughing at the idea. "No" he said "What I'm asking is why you would take us to a place that you knew may have something wrong with it." "Well" I said through laughter "How the hell was supposed to know that they were spitting in food". "Stop laughing and get out of my car" Dave said half jokingly. "No seriously" I said "I had no idea they were doing that. Believe me if I did I wouldn't have taken us there". Dave eventually became convinced and we drove home, but he was completely grossed out about the idea he could have eaten someone else's spit.

The Most Honest Answer Anyone Could Have Ever Given

          This story took place last summer during the big hurricane scare. I was on my most recent camping trip with Dave and his father. We also had our friend Bret and a newcomer named Lee. So we were on this trip up north, in the middle of nowhere, knowing full well that the hurricane could be tearing our homes apart.
          Dave's dad wasn't too concerned, he felt that the media was just making a big deal out out of the whole thing. Dave was worried about the loss of his house since he lived by the beach. The other two were worried they were going to lose their cars because they had left them parked in Dave's driveway. I had decided to leave my car at Dave's dads house, which was on the mainland. So I figured the worst and best thing that could happen, would be if a tree fell on my car and I was be able to make an insurance claim.
          Anyway, it's the day the hurricane is supposed to be destroying New Jersey and we're all out fishing on a lake. Dave's dad was fishing in a small motor boat, while we had a bigger one. We used a pair of walky talkies to stay in contact with each other. All of a sudden we hear the crackling of the walky talky turning on. "Hey, Chris" I heard Dave's dads say. I walked over and picked up the walky talky. "Yea?" I asked. "I've got a question for you" he said "have you called you're parents yet?". "No" I said. "Why not?" he asked. "Cause I don't want to" I said. "Aren't you curious to see how they're doing?" he asked. "No" I answered. "But what if they're dead?" he jokingly said. "If they're dead, I don't want to know about it" I said "I'm having a good time right now and I don't need the news of their demise ruining it. I'll be able to find out if they're alive when we get back home and deal with it than, but right now I'm enjoying myself". Everyone burst out laughing after hearing that. "That is the most honest answer anyone could have ever given" Dave said through his laughter. Just so you're not left wondering, I did call my parents that night and they were fine.

Rat Rabies Part 2

          While my mom was calling the police, she made me go into my aunt and uncles house to wash my hands off. While I was washing, some lady saw me as she was walking by. "Did you hear what happened?" she asked. "What?" I asked. "Some kid out there was bit by a rat" she said "they think he may have gotten rabies from it." I stood there for a second silent. "Yea" I said "that was me". "Oh" she said "well make sure that you wash your hands good, the police should be here soon". "Thanks" I said. When I was done washing I went back out to my mom.
          Soon the police arrived in the driveway and asked to talk to me. While they were speaking to me they had someone go into the woods and bring back the rat so that it could be taken to a lab to see if it had rabies. We didn't need to leave the party, I just had to hang out with the officer in the driveway. He told me how if it turns out I do have rabies, I'm going to have to get five shots in the stomach. Now like most kids and some adults, I wasn't too thrilled about getting shots. So I hoped beyond hope that I wasn't infected.
          Eventually, they called the officer and told him that the rat didn't have rabies. The officer assured me that I was very lucky to have not been infected. We thanked him for his work and went back to face the other members of the party. Naturally, my family was relieved to find out I didn't have rabies.