In the Ghetto Part 3

          The van pulled into the parking lot and we all got out to receive our checks. After taking the check and saying goodbye to the other members of the group I eagerly jumped into my car and started the engine. "Finally!" I thought to myself "I can get out of here and go home". I took out my GPS and entered my college address to get me back. I noticed that when the directions came up they were taking me on a different route than the map did. Figuring it is was most likely a faster way I decided to follow it, after all, it was too dark for me to see the map anyway.
          So I pulled out onto the street and started following the roads that it gave me. Now I was driving through back roads and neighborhoods you probably didn't want to be in at night time, but I didn't care. I was on my way home and in the safety of my own car. There is nothing that could possibly go wrong.
          As I was driving I started to notice something strange with my GPS. I was driving, but the map on the GPS wasn't moving along with me. I quickly realized what was wrong with it. The screen had frozen in place at some point while I was driving. I immediately tried hitting the back button to reload the map, but nothing happened. Not knowing where I was or if I was even driving in the right direction I decided to find a spot to pull over. I don't remember where I pulled over at, I just recall that I didn't want to stay there too long.
          I shut off the GPS and turned it back on again. The menu screen came on, but the buttons weren't working. "Oh no! Don't do this to me now." I said to the machine. I tried restarting it again, and again the buttons didn't work. Doing my best to keep my frustration from rising I turned off the machine hoping that keeping it shut off would give it time to recharge in some way. After sitting in darkness for a few minutes I decided to try it again. I turned the GPS on and still the buttons wouldn't work right. The only thing that stopped me from opening my door and smashing it on the concrete was the thought that it might be my only way to get home.
          I turned on my car light and looked at my map to see that it could at least let me know where I was. If my current location was on the map I didn't see it. I decided that I couldn't wait any longer, so I started driving in the direction that I had been going and hoped that I would run into a familiar street. The longer I drove, the more streets I passed that could have been the one to take me back. I soon realized how pointless this was and wanted nothing more than to chuck my GPS out the window for getting me into this mess. Instead I pulled into a parking lot and decided to give it another shot. It was the only way I was going to find the right path.
          So I turned it back on to see if it would work. Luckily, I was able to get past the menu and into the part where you enter the address. But when I went to use the keys it froze again. In the moment of the realization that it wasn't working again, I had the thought of myself needing to spend the night in my car and waiting for morning to get help or at the very least having the visibility to see a map. I also knew that I couldn't call anybody to come get me because I didn't know where I was.
          Now I am normally a very laid back guy and rarely let problems get to me, but at that moment I snapped. I repeatedly started punching my fist into the face of the GPS, while yelling just about every curse word in the book. The only thing that stopped me was when I saw the cracks start to appear on the screen. "Oh great!" I thought. I had just broken the only thing that could have saved me. I turned off the machine and sat in silence.
          I eventually decided to see if the GPS would still work, just out of curiosity at this point. Surprisingly it turned on and I was able to get to the part where I enter the address. I was even able to to use the keys and get the map set up. It was a miracle! (WARNING: Just because punching my GPS made it work for me, doesn't mean yours will do the same.) I was able to get the directions set up again and was able to slowly, but surely, follow them back home. I was so relieved when I got back to the roads that I was familiar with. When I got back to my apartment, I wanted nothing more than to rest.

In the Ghetto Part 2

          Have you ever been caught in a situation that was so crazy that your mind couldn't process what was happening? That is exactly how I was feeling when the realization of where I had ended up sunk into my brain. Two hours ago I was in my apartment with my friends, playing video games and having fun. Now I was standing on the outskirts of a ghetto, partnered with some kid I didn't know, and my only hope of getting back home was to walk around to different houses and tell people to vote for some guy I didn't support, which at the very least would take us about four hours, all for a "whopping" fifty dollars! "HOW DO I GET MYSELF INTO THESE SITUATIONS?" was all I kept repeating in my head.
          Thank God my friend Dave didn't take up my offer to join or he probably would have murdered me on the spot. My partner and I decided it would be best to get started as soon as possible. We took out our maps and checked to see where we should go first. According to our maps, he had the first closest house. So we walked down the road to arrive at a house that was completely surrounded and hidden by a fence. Before my partner could even get to the entrance a big dog smacked up against the fence and started barking. He turned to me and said "I'm going to just check this one off on the list and write "not home"". "Fine with me." I replied.  So we just decided to continue walking until we got into the area I was supposed to go.
          The first house that I walked up to was quite small. It was so small that when I got onto the porch I had to duck my head to fit under the covering that they had over top. Just for the record I'm 5 feet 10 inches standing. The top of the front door stopped just under my chin. I turned to my partner with a WTF look on my face. "Dude" he said "If a midget comes walking out of that door I'm going to burst out laughing". I knocked on the door to see if anybody was home. After no response I tried again and again no one answered. "Do you think I should put the papers on the ground?" I asked. "Yea" he replied "Just leave them there and write down that they aren't home". So I did and we moved on.
          I would say that 90% of the total houses that we stopped at during our whole time there had nobody home. To save time I'm going to skip over most of the houses and only tell you about the events that really stick out in my memory. One of the earlier houses I stopped at was surrounded by a gate and had piles of junk spread out on the front lawn. I walked up, opened up the gate and stepped through.
          As I was walking I heard footsteps from behind me. I turned around to find my partner following me. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Following behind you" he answered. "Why?" I asked. "I don't know" he answered "I thought you might need me if someone comes out of the door and pulls a gun on you?" After giving it some thought I responded "OK, do what you want." I cautiously approached the door, but I still highly doubted that I was going to get a gun pulled on me. I knocked on the door to find that nobody was home. So I left the fliers and checked off the house on my map.
          At one point we decided to split up so that we could cover more ground on the same street. But when I got to the end of my route I realized that we didn't pick a location to meet at. To make matters worse, it never occurred to us to exchange cell phone numbers. I walked for a little bit to see if I could find him. I soon started yelling his name to see if he might hear me. I could care less if I was bothering the locals, I did not want to be lost on my own. Luckily, we soon found each other and exchanged numbers.
          There were many times that we got lost and had to find our way back on route. In some cases we would end up walking in one big circle. As we realized how long this was taking we made a special agreement. The agreement was that if it started getting dark and we had a lot of flyers left, we would trash the ones we had and call the guy in the van to pick us up. At one point when we were walking down the road when we saw that we had to go into a back ally in order to reach one of the houses. The ally had rundown houses and fences covering the sides.
          As I started to walk forward I noticed that my partner wasn't following. I turned and asked him if he was coming or not. "Are you nuts?" he asked "I'm not going down there". Ignoring his fears I made my way towards the house we were supposed to go to. I didn't see anybody around, but I kept my ears and eyes open. Again nobody was home so I left the flyer on their door step. I than walked out, occasionally looking over my shoulder to see if anybody was behind me. My partner almost looked shocked that I made it back to the streets unharmed.
          At one time we had to back track and had to make our way through a police parking lot. As we were walking an officer opened the back door and yelled at us to see what we were doing. I yelled back that we were walking around and telling people to vote for the election. After more questioning we were able to continue on our way. As the day wore on we started splitting up to cover more ground. Each of us would take a side of a street and meet up down the road.
          At one point when we meet up he had a weird look on his face. After asking him what had happened he explained that at one of the houses he tried knocking on the door to get someone's attention, but they wouldn't answer him. As he was about to leave a person opened the door up to see who he was. According to him the reason that the person didn't open the door sooner was because they thought he was the police.
          A disturbing moment for me was one of the few times that someone opened the door for me. I remember I knocked on a persons door and a man answered. All over his face he had red scabs and bumps. I thought he might have some type of disease so I quickly gave the man the flyer, while trying not to touch his hand. I got out away from that guy as fast as possible.
          Finally, we made it to the last few locations that were at an apartment complex. At this point the sun was starting to go down so I made the run for the apartments while he dialed for our driver in the van. As expected nobody was home at the apartments so I just left them the information. I than met my partner on the sidewalk. "Where's the van?" I asked. My partner explained that the van was on it's way. The driver just had to pick up another group that had finished before us.
          As we waited, the sun fell out of view and the night took over. I don't know if it was exhaustion, but I wasn't scarred of the idea that him and I were alone in the ghetto at night. Soon we got a call on the phone. We picked it up to find that it was our driver calling us. "Where are you guys at?" he asked. We explained that we were at the last house location on the map. Apparently my partner and I were supposed to meet the driver at the same location that we had been dropped off at.
          With difficulty we managed to give our driver directions to that he could find us. He arrived with two other members in the van. We eagerly hopped in and sat back for the ride. I noticed that the girl who had ended up in the bad area looked fine. Both our groups exchanged stories about what had happened. We than picked up the third group and made our way back to the lot. As we pulled into the lot I thought to myself "it's finally over". Oh, how wrong I was. This story will be concluded in the next post.

In the Ghetto Part 1

          For this story I am going to tell you about the time that I managed to get myself trapped in the ghetto. It all started last year when I was walking my college campus and I noticed a guy with flyers trying to recruit people. He was asking to see if anybody wanted to get paid for telling people to vote for an election that was coming up. Figuring I had nothing to lose I walked up to him and asked how much money was being offered and what I had to do. He explained to me that I would be put with a group of people and we would all walk around town knocking on peoples doors and telling them to vote. He also added that for our service we would be paid fifty dollars an hour.
          Taking all of ten seconds to decide, I took the paper out of his hands and signed myself up. He told me that I would be receiving phone call with more information about what would be taking place. As I walked away I thought to myself "This is perfect. With fifty dollars an hour I'll be able to buy my family Christmas presents and still have money left for myself. All I have to do is walk around this place for a few hours and I'm set".
          During my time waiting for the call I spoke to my friend Dave to see if he wanted to join me, but he ended up being too busy. The week before the event I received a phone call to inform me of what was going to happen. After making sure that I understood what was expected of me, the guy on the phone told me something I never saw coming. He explained that the original town I was going to be walking in, the town around my college, was already filled with workers so they were sending me to a different location. At that moment I considered the idea of walking on the deal, but the idea of making fifty dollars an hour was to good a deal to pass up. I told him that I would be there that weekend.
          On the day of the event I had a map to tell me where to go, my wallet, and cell. The drive to this new location took me about forty five minutes to an hour, I can't remember exactly. When I arrived I found a group of people in front of a table signing in. I didn't know anyone in the group, not one person from my college was at this location. After signing in and receiving some kind package, I was made to wait for everyone else to finish. At this point the first of three things went wrong. I found out that I wasn't just telling people to vote, I was telling people to vote for a particular candidate, and it wasn't the guy that I was rooting for. But I figured that I'd stay since I already made the drive and it would be nice to make the extra money.
          When everyone finished signing up the people in charged explained what was going to happen. We were told that in our packages we had forms to hand to people, we had a map, we had a glow stick for when it got dark, and a checklist of houses we were supposed to go to. It was than explained that we would be divided into groups of two and would be dropped off at separate locations. My partner ended up being some kid named Chris, who luckily had good knowledge of the area. When the introduction was finished we were sent to different vans, three groups per van.
          Once inside, a lady stepped up to the door and passed a paper to each of us. She explained that the paper was a waiver that we had to sign before being taken to our location. We all signed it and waited to drive off. While waiting for the driver to get in we started talking and getting to know each other. Just for conversation I mentioned how it was such a great deal that we were getting to be paid fifty dollars an hour. After a moment of silence a girl turned to me and said "It's not fifty dollars an hour, it's fifty dollars for the day". I briefly tried to argue, but the others in the van confirmed to me what she said was true. I was pretty mad after hearing that and didn't really feel like talking anymore.
          Finally, the driver entered the van and we were off. As we drove along, the driver talked to us and asked us about who we were. Eventually, we made it to the first drop off point and the first group was let out of the van. When the guy and the girl got out, the driver explained to them to just follow the map, pass out the forms, and to give him a call to pick them up when they were finished. As we drove off I noticed that my partner had a look of concern on his face, but since I was still steaming over the money I didn't bother to ask about it.
          We soon came to the next drop off point and another guy and girl got out, leaving just me and my partner. As we drove away my partner looked concerned again, but this time he said something. "That was a really bad area those two just got dropped off at" he announced. After asking what he meant he explained to me that there was a great deal of drug and gang related activity that took place there. "Great" I thought sarcastically "So where are him and I getting dropped off at".
          We arrived at our location and stepped out of the van. From what I could tell we were in a nice little town sitting on top of a hill. The driver explained to us our duties and drove away. We took out our maps and checked to see where we were. We soon realized a problem when we saw that our starting point on the map did not match the street that we were on. We walked across the street to ask a man for directions. He looked at the map and explained to us that to get to our location we had to follow the road that was to our right and start walking down the hill that we were on. We would see the street when we got to the bottom.
          So we did as we were told and started walking down the hill until we got to the bottom, leaving behind the nice town that we had just come from. Sure enough we found our street and were greeted with an unexpected surprise. Not only were we no longer in a nice town. We were in some kind of run down dying neighborhood that didn't appear to have any life left in it. It almost felt like we had entered a different country. After taking in the scene my partner turned to me, pointed at the sky, and said "Chris, we need to get out of here before that sun goes down". This story will be continued in the next post.

Weight Problem

          According to my friend Dave, one of the funniest circumstances I ever got into occurred during one of our school field trips. Our class was spending a few night's at a camp and were put through varies physical activities during the day. One morning we were taken to a location where we had to walk across a wire that was fifteen feet in the air. The wire was between two tree's maybe twenty feet apart and ropes were hung above the wire so that you could hold your balance to keep from falling. But just in case you did, you would have a harness attached to your body that was connected to someone on the ground, who had the job of holding you up incase you lost your balance.
          After everyone had their turn and tried to get across, it was the teachers turn to try to make it. This teacher was a rather large woman who Dave and I estimate was around 250 pounds. Than it was time to decide who would be the back up person incase the teacher fell. For some reason that none of us understood, the camp counselor decided that I was the best person to be back up. Now at the time I weighed around 110 pounds and I was supposed to keep a 250 pound lady from falling to the ground.
          The counselor got me and the teacher strapped up, than sent her on her way up. I was standing right behind the counselor, who was also strapped to the line and had the job of letting more of the line go as the teacher got further across. Considering hardly anyone had fallen before, I wasn't expecting anything big to happen. Instead of focusing on what I was doing, I talked to my friends and looked around at my surroundings.
          As I was watching a butterfly, I heard a loud scream come from above. Before I even had a chance to look up, the harness attached to my waist pulled forward so fast that my that my legs, arms, and head snapped back. Dave said that I looked just like a cartoon character with the way my body reacted. The counselor and I were pulled into the air as the teacher dropped from the sky. Somehow we all stopped moving when we almost met in the middle. As my friends laughed on the ground I yelled at them to get us down. They grabbed hold of my legs and began dragging me and the counselor back down. After we all were safe on the ground, we moved on to the next activity.

Playing in Poo

          When my siblings and I were younger we would come up with wacky activities that we could do out in the yard. I have both a younger sister and an even younger brother who loved to play outside. On one particular day we noticed that a nice big pile of mud had formed on the ground.  With excitement all three of us dove in and started playing. We had a mud fight and tried to see who could get the most of it on them. At this time our mom was busy in the house so she had no idea that this was going on. We continued to bath ourselves in the mud, until out she caught sight of what we were doing out the window. In horror she ran to the door and started yelling "Get out of there right now". One of us yelled back "Relax mom it's only mud". "That's not mud you idiots, it's poop" she answered "The septic tank broke last night and over flowed". We were than hurried inside and forced take a shower. While we may have been bummed to get into trouble, I'd be lying if I said that we didn't have a blast while playing.

Love is Blind

          Before I go into the "what" of this story I think that it is important that I first explain the "why". Just over a year ago my buddy Dave, his father, and I took a trip down to Florida to check out the real estate market. His aunt and uncle were kind enough to let us live in one of their houses while we were down there. Once we had arrived at our house after the two day drive, we unpacked our things and went to his uncle's club to talk. 
          As we settled down and started talking to his uncle about business, I saw a blond waitress out of the corner of my eye. My friends father noticed me, leaned over and jokingly said "Hey Chris, want me to fix you up with her". I responded that I can handle things just fine on my own. As we continued talking, his uncle insisted that we all come back to the club later that night for a party. He told us that on this night they were going to have a drag queen party at the club. Dave and his dad considered the idea that we might stop by. After we were done talking we went back to the house and put our things away. 
          As the day wore on I started asking about what to expect at the party that night. I was given a vague explanation that it had something to do with men dressing up as women and doing different performances on stage. I was also told that a fair amount of the visitors that night would be homosexual. I asked if that would include the entire crowed or would it be a mix. One of the club helpers responded that it would be fifty-fifty. Ok works for me, I thought to myself. 
          Finally, night had arrived and the club was just getting ready to go. At this time my friend had gone off shopping and his father was watching TV. My curiosity eventually got the better of me and I got myself dressed up and went to tell Dave's father that I was going to check out the club, besides I was tired of being in the house after the drive we'd just been through. He asked if I might want to first wait for my friend to get back before heading over. I told him that he could just send Dave over when he got back and we could meet up. He than said "Just so your aware Chris, you may get hit on while you're there". I then answered "If that happens than I will just nicely explain that I am straight and everything will be fine. Besides, the guy said the crowed over there was going to be fifty-fifty". 
          So I made my way to the club and noticed that they were still setting up and that only a few people were there. I decided to take a seat at the outside bar and wait for my friend to arrive. As I was hanging around I noticed that some guy around my age was staring at me from the other side of the bar. I pretended to ignore it and just continued minding my own business. He than walked up to me with this big smile and started asking me what I was up to. I explained that I was waiting for my friend to arrive. "So you're waiting for you're boy friend to get here?" he asked. "What?" was the only thing I could say in response to the questions. "No,no,no" I explained, "He's just my friend. I'm not gay". "That's fine" he said. Than he told me that he was waiting for his boyfriend. We soon finished talking and I went back to waiting. Finally, his friend arrived and they started talking. Then they both started glancing over at me. I decided to go inside the club and wait for my friend. 
          Once inside I started talking with some of the workers to pass the time. Finally, Dave came walking through the door and sat down with me to have a drink. Than one of the workers came walking in with guy dressed up like a woman. The worker than walked up to me and said "Chris, I would like you to meet Daisy Dead Petals, she is our host drag queen of the night. Daisy this is Chris, the only straight guy at the bar". We both shook hands. He than said "My you have smooth skin on you're hands". "Uh, thank you" was all I could say. When we finished talking the drag queen left to get set up for the show. When Dave finished his drink he told me that he was going to wait back at the house. So we walked outside and he left while I stayed outside the club. 
          At this point more people had started to arrive. My intentions were to just wait around for the show to start. I noticed that every so often, certain guys would just stare at me. Than one older guy who I was standing next to me leans over and say's "Hey, you're cute." "Here we go again" I thought. "Thanks" I said "But just so you know, I'm straight". "That's ok" he said "I have straight guy's too". He than poked me in the chest and said "Straight guy's just like you". Not knowing what to say I asked to be excused for a second.  I than went to the bathroom inside the club to think about what had just happened. After I got inside, I went to sit down when I noticed I had stepped on something. I lifted my foot to find that I had stepped on what appeared to be a chocolate piece of candy on the floor. 
          Now at this time, my friend Dave was outside on the deck enjoying the night. He than had his peaceful time ruined when he heard me yelling his name. He got up and watched as I came hopping up the side path on one foot. "Do we have a hose at this house?" I asked. "Why? What happened'? he asked. I lifted my leg up for him to see the bottom of  my shoe. After looking closely he asked me what it was. I told him it was something I stepped on in the mens bathroom. I watched as the realization of what had happened crept into his face. "Oh, my God!" he yelled, "My boy stepped in sh-t, he stepped in human shi-t! That is disgusting!"I than interrupted him "Well, do we have a hose?" He looked around and said "yea, there should be one on this side of the house." He than picked up the hose and sprayed my shoes clean as best he could. Than we dried it off with paper towels. 
          After they were clean we decided to wait at the house and would go back over to see the show later on. When the time came Dave, his dad, and I all went back to the show together. We went back to find that the majority of the customers were now a bunch of men dressed up like women. And once again I had to deal with a bunch of men "Checking me out". At that point I truly understood what a girl means when they complain that they get treated like a piece of meat. Luckily the show soon started and that took the attention away from me. I watched as the drag queen I had met earlier, Daisy Dead Petals, took the stage.
          He started with a few jokes than began talking about some straight guy he had met earlier that he planned to get drunk later on. I than realized that he was talking about me as I watched everyone laugh and look in my direction. The rest of the show was filled with a bunch of content that I cannot share with you on this blog. Dave decided to leave towards the end, when he had seen enough. So only his father, aunt, uncle, and I were all that was left. 
          Than a DJ came out and started playing music for people to dance to. I then noticed that the waitress from earlier was hanging out at the bar talking to one of her fellow workers. I thought to myself "maybe I should see if she wants to dance". At that point Dave's father told me that he was heading back to the house and asked if I was coming. I told him I just wanted to wait a bit longer. "Ok, be safe." he told me. I than got back to the idea of talking to the girl and asking her to dance. 
          As I was getting ready to go over and say something I noticed that I had caught the attention of a few other people. This time I had a bunch of elderly men dressed up staring at me. Some even reached out to brush the side of my arm as I walked past. I than thought to myself "maybe if they see that I'm with a girl, they'll leave me alone". As I started to walk over I had a thought go through my mind. "What if she turns me down and some drag queen takes up the offer. Or worse, what if she agrees to dance and a bunch of these guys try joining in". I decided that I would just ask her on another night, after all I was going to be around for a week. "Who knows" I thought to myself "maybe I'll be able to get her back to the house before this trip is over". So I decided to just go home and go to sleep. 
          The next morning we all woke up and hung out in the living room. Dave's father eventually turned to me and asked "So Chris, why did you want to stay behind last night?" "Well" I started "Do you remember the waitress we saw earlier yesterday?" They both looked at each other and answered "There weren't any waitresses." "Yes there was" I said, "There was the blond girl in the back working." They both still had a puzzled look on their face. I than turned to Dave's dad, "Remember the girl that you talked about fixing me up with". As he began to remember, he started laughing to himself. "Uh, Chris" Dave started "That was some guy with a dress, a wig, and make up on". They both then started laughing like crazy. "You're lying" I replied. "No we're not" he said "that was some guy." "I don't believe you" I answered. 
          At that time Dave's aunt walked into the house to wish us good morning. After settling down I started talking to her. "Will you please tell these two about the waitress that you have at you're club." "We didn't have a waitress yesterday" she answered confused. "Yes you did" I replied, "The blond girl that I saw working." She than gave it some thought as to who I could be talking about. Then she answered "Oh, you must mean Colin. He's such a nice boy." My jaw hit the floor and I sat back in my chair as my friend and his dad started cracking up again. 
          As my mind started wrapping around what could have happened I dropped my head into my hands. "Oh my God" I said out loud, "To think I was standing there trying to figure out how to get her back to the house". Upon hearing that my friends dad replied "Just think if you actually did get her back here. How awkward would that have been? There wouldn't be enough psychiatrists in the world to fix you". They all started laughing together, while I was still sitting in a state of shock. The rest of the trip I was paranoid about determining if someone was actually a guy or girl whenever I went to the back to the bar.

Cow Care

          For my first story I would like to tell about the time I was on a field trip at a cattle farm, which was a time in my life when I wanted to became a veterinarian. After learning about the different ways that the animals are treated, the farmer took us to see how pregnant cow's are cared for. I don't remember if he gave us a demonstration about how to check a pregnant cow, but I do remember me being the first brave student to give it a try. 
          Now the way you check a pregnant cow is by reaching you're arm into the cow's rear end and feeling for a fetus in the uterus. So I stepped up and had a giant rubber glove placed on my arm. Since it was a "one size fits all" deal I had to take off my jacket, which was a pain because it was cold out. Than they started rubbing a tremendous amount of lubricant on my arm. When they felt I was ready they lifted up the cow's tail and told me reach on in. At this point I felt it would be best to just let my mind go blank and avoid the idea of what I was about to do. 
          Slowly my hand began to slip into the cow's back side. The moment this happened a huge amount of feces spilled onto my arm. The best comparison that I can make for what had happened would be someone sticking their hand in a bowl of chocolate pudding and having it spill out over the sides. The problem was that unlike pudding, it was much thicker. In fact, it was so thick that I couldn't get my hand in any further. 
          After explaining I couldn't go further I was told that I had to start scooping some of the dung out in order to make room for my arm. So after doing some digging, I was able to get up to my elbow. At this point I was feeling pretty cold with no jacket on, so as sick as it is to admit, I felt pretty cozy in the warmth of the cow. I was than asked if I felt anything that was like a turkey neck. After replying no I was told to go deeper. While it took some effort, I was able to push myself in all the way up to my shoulder. 
          While taking a rest I noticed how tight the cow was squizing on my arm. The pressure was so strong that it felt like the blood had stopped flowing to my arm. The image of me getting stuck inside the cow began to flash through my mind. I could just see the teacher and farmer attempting to pull me out. I told the farmer I was in as far as I could go, again he told me to feel around for a turkey neck. After about a minute of feeling around my hand touched what felt like a hunk of meat. I told him what I had touched and he said that it may be the fetus. I than began the laborouse process of pulling my arm out. When I was free the rest of the class stared at my arm, which was covered in cow manure. I than had the glove removed from my arm and had it thrown in the trash. 
          The farmer than asked who wanted to go next. One girl decided that she wanted to give it a try. Once she was prepped with the glove, she turned to me and asked "What it does it feel like". After giving it some thought I replied "It kind of feels like warm spaghetti". Slowly she reached up towards the cow and before she even touched it, her eyes bean to tear up. However, she was able to fight her emotions and was able to complete the task. We were the only two brave enough (or dumb enough) to participate in the job.