Nose Bleed

WARNING: I should probably put a warning on this post since it is a bit gruesome and one of my activities was dangerous. So yea, don't try what I did in this.
          With that out of the way, it is very rare for me to get a nose bleed, but when I do, it is bad. It usually ends up happening when it's dry out or if I have a cold. So I was at my house and my nose started to bleed, so I ran to the bathroom and grabbed a piece of toilet paper and shoved it up my nose. But the blood was coming out so fast it was soaking through the paper. I quickly grabbed another piece from the role and got it ready. I kept my face over the toilet as I went to make the switch.
          The moment I took the paper out of my nose, a faucet of blood came out and landed in water of the bowl. I quickly jammed the other piece of toilet paper into my nose as blood dropped onto my hand. I than immediately tilted my head back to stop the blood from coming out. But it didn't do much and I had to again switch to another piece of toilet paper. This time I laid on my back, but the blood just ended up sliding to the back of my throat.
          I got bored waiting and decided there had to be another way to move this process along. I thought to my self "Maybe if I stuff an ice cube up my nose, that will slow the flow of blood". So I got up and walked to the freezer, while trying to keep my nose covered. I grabbed out an ice cube and headed back to the bathroom. I took the toilet paper out of my nostril and put in the ice, which I held with a paper towel.
          It had the opposite effect that I wanted and started making my nose bleed even faster. I decided to give it time to work, but the blood kept pouring out. I eventually gave up and let the ice drop into the toilet. Than a new idea occurred to me "Maybe if I just let it bleed out, it will stop on it's own". So I just kept my head over the toilet letting the blood pour out. I waited, but there was no sign of it slowing down, let alone stopping.
          As I watched the water get redder and started feeling light headed, I thought I might need to call someone for help. It couldn't be healthy to lose this much blood, even if I wasn't in pain. I was strongly considering the idea of making a phone call when yet another idea came to mind. I thought "Maybe I can cauterize it with some fire".
          In a last ditch effort I made my way to our cabinet and took out the lighter we use for lighting our grill. I than went back to the bathroom and tried to figure out how I was going to do it. In the end I decided I should just hold the flame under my nose. So I clicked the flame on and put it under my nostril. I than inhaled through my nose thinking it would help the heat to travel further up.
          When it became more than I could take, I took the flame away and turned off the lighter. To my amazement, it worked. The blood had dried up and was no longer leaking. I put the lighter back and cleaned the toilet, no more problems. However, I did notice that I had managed to singe my eye lashes a little bit. But I did manage to stop my nose from bleeding and was now free to go about my day.